A night at a Tinker campfire
Well, there's no appearance of Thesy but it's all about her? :)

Road Outside of Misty Hold Mist and fog still cling tenaciously to the surrounding mountains, although it does dissipate easily in the high mountain air. The road climbs a ridge and splits off, one way slipping down into the rising mists from the Misty Hold Valley. The other fork stretches out to the east where the Hold of Sattle beckons. The firs in this area sway occasionally as the wind rises from the mountain valleys. From here you can see the faint outline of Tillek in the west.
It is a summer late night. It is a peaceful night. The soft light of the moons bathes the land in a faint glow, and stars wink from horizon to horizon. A soft breeze blows from the east.
Lethan and Gervaise (NPC, emitted by Thesy; Gwyna, also an NPC and emitted by Ragis) are here.
Obvious exits:
East To Sattle Misty Hold West To Tillek

Gervaise leans against one of the old fir trees that surround the camp. His massive frame casts a long shadow on the ground. He's rather busy cleaning his fingernails with a dangerously looking knife but glances over to where the lanky figure of Lethan is sitting at the camp fire. "So you've come back, huh?"

Lethan sits on the steps of one of the vardos, one foot braced against the ground, the other cocked up onto one of the stairs. His staff rests against that cocked leg, cutting a diagonal line across his slumped figure. "Hrm? I never left.....just switched trains. Again." He doesn't seem bother lifting his head. The sudden flight of a night avian make his head lift though. Not that lasts, since it drops back down.

Gervaise cocks an eyebrow, "Really? I've heard you spent quite some time up at the High Reaches." He shrugs and returns to his occupation. Finally he carefully puts the knife back into the intricately carved sheath at his belt and saunters over to the vardo, leaning against it beside Lethan. "And?" His voice holds a certain note of mockery, "D'ya enjoy your time?"

Lethan says, "Alot of us spend time up there....And...yeah, I guess I did...it was another Weyr....big deal."

"Hah", the big man grimaces, something between a grin and a scowl. He hunches down and starts rocking on his heels, "I bet you did ... lots of those riders offering you comfort I'm sure." He spits on the ground. "Riders!"

Lethan snorts, "The comfort of their marks.....And I don't know if you've noticed, Gervaise, but we do actually need them to fight the thread.....I don't see you doing it any time soon. And would you be so bold with your words, cousin, before R'sli?"

Gervaise glares at the blind man, shrugging his broad shoulders in a careless manner, "Don't think I would but ...", he shakes his head so vehemently that the heavy braid of blue tinged black hair swings over his shoulder, "I'm not talking about /male/ riders. They're just fine and Ris is one of the best. Even made it Weyrsecond, s'far as I know." His mouth turns into a thin line for a moment, "But, ahhhh, them female ones! Harlots, all of them!"

Lethan smirks, "And you can say different of your Nilil? Riders are more like us than you realize. Their women will do as they well, and you'd best keep down your tone with the Tante asleep in this vardo.....She'll wake and break a skillet over your head, then we won't be able to eat until we get to Tillek....."

Gervaise shrugs but nevertheless lowers his voice. "You're prolly right." The thought of Nilil and her ways don't seem to enrage him though, tinker women are like that. "But our women don't treat you as an equal, now do they?" He stares into the fire and throws another twig into it to keep it alive. "No, those women riders are far worse. They treat you as if you're equal and /then/ get rid of you like of an old toy." Lethan gets a vicious grin, "But, yeah, don't think one of them looked at you twice. They detest disabled people, y'know."

Lethan shrugs, after first carefully thinking about his words. "Oh....plenty of them looked at me....Non rider women too....And I left the weyr because I wanted to. Not because I was thrown away." He corrects. "Besides, I know I'm far more handsome than you....better at darts and you'd be amazed what a woman will do to tie a man up....."

"Aye, looked at you once and that was that, huh?", The glance Gervaise flashes Lethan now is everything but nice. However, the man being blind means he's completely off limits so Ger sticks to just clenching his fists, his thick brows drawing together that they seem to form a single line. Yet something in Leth's voice holds a hint and Gervaise jumps at it immediately, "And, suuure, you left on your own will." He clearly doesn't believe any of that.

Lethan shrugs again, like Ger's disbelief doesn't matter. "I did, not that you'd ever believe me anyways. Either way, you weren't there, so what does it matter to you, Gervaise? Why do you care so much? What, did some female rider so long ago seduce you and drop you when the wind changed?"

Only the thought of the Tante keeps Gervaise from bursting into one of his roaring laughters, "It doesn't matter to me, Lethan, don't get me wrong. I couldn't care less but I /am/ curious? Not only did we get news of your stay in the Weyr but also there were rumours about you and one of them blueriders?" His grin is malicious, "And I take it she sent you packing after she got tired of you. That's what they always do once their dragon raises for a flight and they find someone else." The big man has no intention of telling Lethan anything about his experiences.

Ah, but his silence speaks volumes. "Actually, she wanted me to stay. And there was no flight she was in while I was there. Besides, it's not like I could've stayed for long anyway....I'm a Tinker...My heart it too free to be held in the confines of a weyr."

"So those rumours were true then after all", Gervaise squints at Lethan, drawing his own conclusions from the other's silence but clearly doesn't believe a word. His hand points to the tiny green flit curled around Lethan's neck, "And what's this? A farewell gift of her, huh?" A sarcastic grin reveals a row of white teeth, "Asked you to stay she did. Aye and the next night we'll have three moons rising. No, I'm sure she's just as bad as all of them." Again he turns his eyes towards the fire, "Y'see, Lethan, she would have found you everywhere, if she would have wanted to. No problem with a dragon." He leans back his head as if searching the night sky, "Alas ... no dragon in the air."

Lethan says, "Your are an idiot, Ger. A woman with a broken heart doesn't seek the man that broke it." He doesn't sound too thrilled about that. Guilty even? "Unless she's going to kill him. And no, Kilipo was a gift from another lady at the weyr."

"Heartbroken? Are you actually trying to tell me /you/ managed to break the heart of a woman rider?" Gervaise whistles softly, "That'll be the day." The big man doesn't seem to mind being called an idiot, at least not by Lethan. Every other man around would surely have got a punch by one of those enormous fists and found himself without a couple of teeth. "Listen Leth, them don't have a heart, so don't fool yourself."

Lethan says, "Every woman has a heart, Ger. Even riders. Thread doesn't burn them out, if anything it makes them more fierce and free."

Gervaise cackles, "Yeah right. So, if she's all that wonderful ... why did you leave her then?" He takes out his knife again, this time to cut a little melon into pieces. He tips his head at Lethan, his bright blue eyes sparkling. "Oh no, you're not gonna fool /me/. She's thrown you out all right, she's surely just a wanton like the rest of them." He smirks, "Prolly sharing her weyr with some young rider right now."

Lethan shrugs, "Who cares if she is, I don't return her feelings.....Besides, what would -you- know about it? Nilil keeps you on too short a leash to have spent time with a rider....."

With an expression of utter disbelief Gervaise looks at the other man, "You know what, Leth? /You/ are the complete idiot of the two of us!" Finally believing Lethan's story, he just can't believe what the blind has just said. "Just because you're not feeling the same you throw away the chance to have a mate who doesn't think she's your master? Who'd treat you as one of her own? And one who really cares for you?" Ger slowly shakes his head, all of a sudden haunted by memories and a pain he head thought to have overcome long ago, "If I ever had that chance ...." All the sarcasm, the mockery has gone and left him feeling more miserable than he had been for turns. "You're a complete numbwit." A stifled sigh raises his chest before he adds, "And I think you probably don't even deserve someone like her. She must be something very special."

Lethan is silent for several very long moments. "She is." He admits finally. "And she deserves a man who will match her. I am a Tinker, not weyrfolk. We don't match." He lies through his eye teeth. "Besides, I've already had the great love of my life and she's gone. The life of a rider isn't the safest around....."

Gervaise groans as he stands and moves into the dark shadows to gather some more firewood. After throwing it on the flames, he grabs a stool and sits down heavily, giving Lethan an odd glance, "You're a weird man but I guess you know that, Leth." He knives a few pieces of the cut melon, "If she thinks you match her, a rider, who, by the first egg, do you think you are to think different?" He holds the large leave with the melon out to his companion, his voice growing softer, "Yes, I know how much you cared about Daola. We all know. But life goes on? And it's dangerous for all of us." He grins wryly down at his hands, "At least she has a dragon that takes care of her." He turns around to face Lethan, his gaze intent on the other's face, his voice emphatic, "Think twice about it, Leth. And think well. You'll never get a chance like this again in your life." And he adds, almost inaudible, to himself, "If you still have one."

Lethan grins, "We all make due with what we're given. Who knows how I would've turned if it weren't for that fever......" He shrugs, not really caring. After all, he is who he is, not who he could've been. "She's holderbred, Ger.....It wouldn't have worked...." He gets quiet. But who's he trying to convince with that? "It wasn't just care with Daola....it was love. -That- only comes once a life time. I had it, I lost, I've moved on. I know life is dangerous for everyone....but usually everyone doesn't have to deal with fighting thread. And your right, she does a have a dragon to take care of her, so why would she really need me anyway?"

The wind's been growing more chilly and Gervaise shivers for a moment. He stands once more, "I'll better get us something to warm up. Don't move, ok?" Deftly he weaves his way around Lethan and, after a few moments returns with a steaming klah pot and two mugs. He fills both of them and hands one to Leth, then sinks down on the stool again. "Don't talk such nonsense. You are what you are and things past can't be changed." He takes a swig, enjoying the warmth spreading in his chest, "So, holderbred she is, you say. And? Now she's a rider, that's all that counts and obviously she's not like those greenriders." he stares into his mug and doesn't respond to Lethan's last questions but casts him a swift curious glance, "Tell me about her. I don't think I've ever met a female rider like her."

Lethan takes the mug and a long sip, followed by a longer breath. "She's got black hair.....blue eyes....soft skin....She smells sweet and spicy all at once....No, she's not like green riders....she's a blue.....Her Sardrinth's wonderful....She's a healer....a dragonhealer. From Keroon....you can still hear the grass in her voice....and there's such a gentleness and honesty to her..." He smiles a little, "She was just about furious though, when I told her about the lake act...." The smile fades, "Mad that I would take such a risk just for a few marks......"

Gervaise has to remind himself to close his mouth again after Leth's little speech and he squints a few times. He downs another swig and then shakes his head, "Leth, Leth! You're not just /an/ idiot." He falls quiet for minutes, staring into the fire again, his face a display of various emotions, pain and envy not being the weakest though Lethan won't notice naturally. "And you're telling me you're not in love? Hah!" he snorts, jerking his head back to the other man, "What, on all Pern, is love for you then? Being ordered around all day? Getting slapped when you need comfort but she doesn't feel like giving it to you? Having to comfort her when you're in no mood at all or too tired after a long day's travel?" Again he stops only to mutter after a moment, "You wouldn't know love, if it came right up to you, slapping your face."

Lethan takes a long time to consider. "Not feeling trapped. Or suffocated or pitied....And with Daola it was never like that....She never slapped me....And she used to ask what I thought....if she ever listened to it really, eh....Thesy's a lot like Daola was...fiery but not overbearing....sweet and hot....." His eyes close at the thoughts. The memories of both women. "Daola wasn't afraid though, to remind me I would never be her Headman, that her brother would have that position. Thesy was more interested in what I can do....than reminding me what I can't...." He sighs. Ger's right. He is an idiot. And a coward. "But....what's done is done...."

Gervaise lifts a piece of fir wood from the ground and frantically starts to carve some patterns into it. It's his way of handling his emotions, presently his anger with Lethan, in his eyes the worst numbwit of the northern continent, if not all Pern. If only he had met a woman like this Thesy and not Sanella who had toyed with him and sent him packing after a few months when her interest was taken by some bronzerider. But he manages not to show his feelings but inquires in an almost indifferent voice, "Trapped? Pitied? What did she do to make you feel like that. From what you just told me about her, she seems to be nothing like that." His glance darts to Leth before returning to his hectic handiwork, "Did she insist on you staying? Giving up your way of life for her sake?"

Lethan cocks his head and sighs again. "Women don't tell you that they love you just to say it. They don't lie about that kind of thing. A woman's love is intense...all encompassing.....and it can trap you just as hard and fast as a bumpkin at a gather full of Bitrans. It can make you do thing you aren't ready to do.....She never said it, but I could always tell she regretted that I can't see....there was that guilt in her voice when she'd mention seeing things or something....LIke a sunrise....No....she never asked me to stay past the summer.....made no hint that she expected me to stay in the weyr....Even said she'd be willing to come to me....but...."

Gervaise forces his glance to stay on his hands. He's afraid he might hurt himself such anger wells up within him at Lethan's words. So he just mutters through clenched teeth, "And wasn't it the same with Daola? Wasn't it her inviting you to her vardo one night?" He throws wood and knife to the ground and moves around sharply, "Can't remember you hesitating, no? I don't know this blue rider, only what you just told me about her. /But/ she seems one of a kind to me. Aye, aye, don't bite my head off, Daola was one of a kind, too. So she told you she loved you. But what made you think she's expected you to tell her you do the same? Did she ask you, if you loved her too? Did she cling to you? And what's wrong with her feeling sorry for you that you're blind and can't share her delight in visible things? She'd have to get used it and I bet she would've had after some time. It's not easy to cope with a loved one's disability, you fool."

Lethan is starting to really grow ill with this. "Shows what you know, I was in love with Daola for turns before she accepted my offers....and she never had a problem with my blindness." He takes a sip of the klah, stiffening slightly as Kilipo changes position on his shoulder. It's going to take some time getting used to her. "No she didn't ask but....what person says that with out -wanting- to hear it in return? What person isn't hurt even a little when it's not returned? I couldn't lie to her...."

Gervaise rolls his eyes at what seems to him to be Lethan's stubbornness. He jumps to his feet and starts pacing the few feet between the fire and the trees. After having marched to and fro a couple of times, he stops in front of the blind tinker and says in a low, harsh voice, "All right, I'll give you that. I know you'd been mooning over, sorry, been in love with Daola endlessly. " He throws up his arms in mock despair, "Of course she didn't mind your blindness, having known you for turns and understanding that you handled it so well. But I assume Thesy never had to cope with something like that before." He refills both mugs and settles down on his stool again, "You know, you're a strange fellow. What makes you think that the person who tells you they love you want to hear the same in return?" He pauses, tipping his head at Leth, "Wait ... did you tell someone you loved her and she told her she didn't ... or lied to you about it? Leth! Don't judge others by yourself!"

Lethan shakes his head at Gervaise, "No, but I remember how I felt when I told Daola and it was turns before she could say the same to me honestly.....Thesy deserves someone who's going to match how she feels....I care about her deeply, and she intriguing me, but there's more to love than interest and care....."

Gervaise casts him a wry grin as he bends down to retrieve his knife and the piece of wood, "To me you seem to care far more for this rare example of a female rider than you know yourself." He shoves the knife into its sheath and starts fiddling with the wood, "What is it that you don't think you feel for her and think is essential to feel to be able to say you love her?" A thick brow is raised in ridicule, "Weren't you enjoying the comfort she gave you?"

Lethan sighs, "I'm not -in love- with her.....Aye, oh, aye did I enjoy it....it was soft and sweet and......" His voice goes soft and then trails off. "But there's more to love than laying with someone." Comes more firmly, defensively even. "I mean, I lay with women I care about but I'm not in love with.....Or...well, I used to...."

"That, my good man, is not an answer to my question," Gervaise returns immediately, shaking his head. He gives a harsh chuckle, "And though I'm glad you enjoyed her I have to say I'm a little surprised. Soft and sweet? M'dear Lethan, that's the way you talk of the way Holder girls make love but riders? I certainly have different memories than you." However, they don't seem to be only pleasant ones and Ger makes a cutting gesture with his hand. "So, what is it that makes you think you're not -in love- with this woman?"

Lethan hrms, "Well, blueriders don't get proddy like greenriders do, so that could in part account for that....And yes there was passion too, and fire but.....I don't know, we're not fifteen...." He finishes his mug and opens his eyes. "I wouldn't've panicked when she said she loved me if I were in love with her....there wouldn't've been that twinge of guilt....."

Ger sighs, rolling his eyes and the wood in his hands turns even faster. "All right, I see. So that can't be the cause." The big man chuckles but starts at Lethan's last words, "Guilt? Shards, what could've made you feel guilty? Man, no one's responsible for the feelings he has or doesn't have."

Lethan says, "Because i care about her, I don't want to hurt her...didn't mean to hurt her.....and I knew no matter what I did I was going to......"

"Yeah right", Gervaise nods grimly and the look Lethan gets is anything but amiable, "By leaving her like that you sure did hurt her." He takes another sip, "But since when's our Lethan a clairvoyant, heh? What makes you so sure you wouldn't have grown to love her, if you gave fate a chance? I tell you /what/ you are, Leth! Nothing like a big cowardly fool, too full with himself. That's what you are."

Lethan sighs. "There was no way not to hurt her...better it be short and quick now than long and drawn out later....For both of us....You just don't understand....."

Gervaise almost groans with impatience, "That's what they all say, those quitters. Not enough guts to give it at least a try but making tracks as soon's things don't go as expected." He snorts and his heavy braid starts dancing again, "You're right, I don't understand, I don't understand at all." Ger glares at the man too composed for his liking, "D'you wanna know what I think?"

Lethan rolls his eyes, "You are going to tell me no matter what I say so....sure, why not...berate me some more for making a decision....."

Gervaise nods, "Right." And ponders for some minutes, searching for the right words. This isn't going to be easy for him as it will bring back memories he rather not think of and feelings he had buried a long time ago. Yet after some time he raises his head, "I think you've been made a present, Lethan, you have no idea of how precious it is. This one Thesy seems to be really special. I know many a female rider though I've lived only with Sanella and only for half a turn before she grew tired of my company." Nervously he cracks the knuckles of his hands. "You have never lived with one, Leth. You spent only a few sevendays at the High Reaches. But let me tell you something. Living with a rider, being her mate is the most wonderful thing on Pern. At least for a man who regards himself to be a man. These women treat you as their equal, ask your opinion and don't expect you to follow their every word. I won't mention the joys of sharing a rider's weyr during a mating flight but that adds to all of the rest." He falls quiet, the uproar within him perceptible. "But you have rejected this present, too full with ridiculous self-importance and equally ridiculous feelings of guilt." His muscular shoulders sag a little and it looks like he's giving up on Leth, "You're going to regret this, Leth, you will for sure."

A lithe figure appears on the edge of the firelight, watching the two men. From the way hips sway and then the attire they can see, it's female. A soft snort is heard and then a contralto voice says, " 'Course he'll regret it.....'specially if he goes /back/ to her........Ye need to find ye a Tinker woman to take care of ye, Lethan." With that the speaker saunters into full view revealing a petite woman dressed in a flowing skirt of flame color ribbons sewn together, bright blue blouse and dark purple shawl tucked into her green wherhide belt.

Lethan frowns. "Self importance....? Where are you getting that from?" But his head turns sharply at the invading voice. "I've had one, thank you. I doubt I'll find another willing to put up with my self important cowardice...."

She waves a dismissing hand at Lethan's comment. Gwyna stands across the fire from the men and folds her arms across her chest. "That, dear Lethan, can be trained out of a man....No matter the age. A Tinker woman'd take you in hand and you'd be just about perfect." She looks him up and down with an appraising eye and raising an eyebrow and says, "Might take a Turn or two....but you'd learn, I've no doubt." The smirk on her lips obvious that she'd like to be the one doing the 'training'.

Yes, self importance, Leth," Ger nods again but he has calmed down. "You said you'd hurt her no matter what you did, stay or leave. Did the thought that she might leave you one day never occur to you?" The bright blue eyes rest thoughtfully on Lethan and he puts a finger to his handsomely broken nose, "Hey!" he calls softly. Wouldn't do to wake Tante, right? "That's it! You're /afraid/! You're just too damn afraid to be honest with yourself and admit your feelings!" He jerks his head around at hearing the lilting voice, "Oh, go to bed, Gwyna! This one's not meant for you, he's spoiled for every other woman though he doesn't even know it himself yet."

Lethan snorts at Gwyna, "I've come to appreciate my freedom, thank you. I've nearly fallen into the trap of a Tinker woman once......" He leans back against the steps, letting both legs go strait. "And what if it did? So what?" What if he thought about what would happen if she died in the line of duty? What bearing does that have, really?

She ignores Gervaise's wish and continues appraising Lethan from across the fire. Spoiled, eh? Well, she's cured men of /that/ before and she could do it again. After several moments she says, "That just makes it all the more fun, Gervaise.....You know that." Her voice drops to a purr as she saunters around the fire, hips swaying provocatively till she stands next to Lethan and walks the tips of her fingers up his shoulder toward his neck. "Freedom? What freedom is there to be found in that great stone edifice? Closed in by walls all around......not enough space to get away from others for a while? Doesn't sound like freedom to me......" she murmurs, not quite purring into his ear.

Gervaise stretches his legs too, the stool not being too comfortable for his tall frame, "Well, what do you feel at that thought?" He cocks his head, watching Gwyna from the corner of his eyes. That one means mischief mind you. "But be honest. With me, and more important, with yourself. Or what if she gets hurt in Fall?" No, he's not going as far as mentioning a possible death. Not yet.

Lethan shakes his head. "Freedom is being able to do what I like, when I like, where I like....with who I like and no answering to anyone if I like....If I didn't need another's eyes to lead me from place to place, I probably wouldn't even travel with a train......" He turns his head at the mention of her getting hurt. "There are healers there, she'd be take care of."

"That's /all/?", Ger stares at Lethan, making a helpless gesture with one hand. How can he talk like this after all he has told him about this bluerider earlier. He heaves a deep breath, readying himself to fire his worst arrow. The one that should break this invisible carapace Lethan seems to have armed himself with, "All right ....", he halts, still not sure to say it but he's annoyed beyond endurance, "Then ... what, if she or her dragon ... that beautiful blue creature ... gets hurt fatally? Both going between? Or just the dragon and that bluerider commiting suicide? Then what?" He scowls at the lanky figure, "Will you still say it'd be taken care of? By someone?"

Gwyna hrmmphs softly at Gervaise's words. She'd not care if the rider died, at least the harlot wouldn't be stealing their Tinker men. She doesn't voice that opinion though as she'd like this one for herself. She crosses her arms and waits for Lethan's answer herself, ready to sweep him off to her vardo if he needs comforting.

Lethan's face darkens, it's easy to tell even in the firelight and with his shaggy hair partially in the way. "What could I do about it?" The pain in his voice is unmistakable, "I couldn't do anything for Daola. I'm no healer. I'm no rider. If that is her fate I can't save her from it no matter what I want."

Only half satisfied with Lethan's reaction, Gervaise leans forward, looking at the young tinker intently, "No, you couldn't. No way for you to do something, if those eyes that looked at you with warmth and love are lifeless and broken, the lips, once soft and warm on yours and her hands, gently caressing you cold and lifeless. And never again you could hear her voice, smell her scent, hold her in your arms or enjoy her embrace." He breaks off, leaning back, only to go on after a moment, "Think about it, Lethan! Now there's still time to go back and set things right, hopefully." He sighs deeply. "Nobody is invulnerable and all of us must die one day. But is this a reason to throw away such a gift?"

Gwyna's dark eyes snap sparks at Gervaise as she grits her teeth in anger. How dare the man try to make Lethan go back to that......person! She looks back at Lethan and purrs, "Tisn't a thing you /could/ do about it.....why should you want to be hurt like that. You know a Tinker woman wouldn't let anything like that happen to you...." She is obviously forgetting Lethan's love, Daola. She snorts softly and mutters, "Some gift....she'll turn him out as soon as she tires of him."

Lethan trembles before he shouts, no longer caring if the Tante wakes. "Shut up!" He pulls out of Gwyna's arm and stands up, turning his back, trying to keep himself together. "I live with that every day, Gervaise......I wake in the middle of the night remembering what it's like to feel someone grow cold and stiff in my arms. Do you know, what it's like to hold someone you love as they die? Do you know what that helplessness feels like? Why in the name of our ancestors would I ever want to put myself through that again?" And now, ladies and gentleman, we come to the real issue, Leth's fear of being left alive again. He completely ignores Gwyna, since she doesn't know what she's talking about.

Gwyna sniffs disdainfully at Lethan as he pulls away from her. He doesn't want her comfort...he'll not have it. She sends a scathingly bitter glance toward Gervaise, knowing what /that/ man will be trying to do and saunters past him toward a distant vardo.

Watching Lethan's armour finally break down, Gervaise gets to his feet also and slowly walks to the trembling young man, putting an arm as gently as possible around his shoulder, "I'm sorry, Leth, I really am." He gives the shaking man an awkward squeeze, "I know how devastated you were when Daola died and what you went through afterwards. Still ..." He gently turns Lethan around and makes him sit down again. Squatting before him and holding his arms, he looks up at him, "You are one of the very few people who get a second chance to /really/ love. No!", Ger raises a hand forbiddingly, "Stop telling me you don't -love- this Thesy because I know you do. Even if you don't admit it. You see I've been in love before so I know the signs. Lethan, you have no right to deny yourself this love or her. Call it fate or whatever you want, it's your destiny." A groan dies silently in a throat for a moment too tight to go on. "And don't fear. Tragedies like the one of Daola's death don't happen twice in a man's life."

Lethan starts at the unexpected touch, and then tries to pull from the embrace. He fails though, only managing to free his staff. "You have no idea." He whispers harshly. And of course, he's about to argue as he's lead back to the stairs and back to sitting in his spot. He snorts, "Don't they? What about uncle Siarl? Seven times widowed....I can't live through that.....Not again....."

Gervaise gives a scornful snort while he stands up, brushing the dust off his breeches. "Yeah right, Uncle Siarl! That old fool who always married women way older than he was. No wonder he was widowed that often." He turns around and grabs his mug, "And how like you to take him for an example. Right, life's not an easy trip, for no one of us. As much as I do understand your worries and your wish never to have to go through something like that, I think this is only a cheap excuse for not wanting to make a commitment." The thick brows raise in sheer mockery, "You really think you're someone special, don't you? Attracting disaster like no one else. Well, my boy, life has hit you hard twice already. First when that fever that took your sight and secondly when Daola died. But life will hit you again when you refuse it's offer of happiness."

Lethan snorts, "I'm no more special than anyone else. Cursed, well perhaps.....but not anymore special. And just what would you have me do, Gervaise.....? Go running back in the middle of the night alone? Leave our people? Break my commitments to our family?" He shakes his head again, teal eyes closing. "Fate is more cruel than any woman could be.....it tricks you with things that seem sweet....and then it either turns sour, or is taken away....Alright...so I love her....what good is it going to do? I'll just wind up outliving her....."

Shoving his hands into the pockets of his breeches after having put down the mug, Gervaise grins lopsidedly, "I wouldn't be too sure of it, Leth. Or is she a middle aged woman already? From what you told me I'd say she's some years younger than you, no?" The grin turns into an amused chuckle, "And since women tend to grow older than men, I'd say she has a good chance of outliving /you/! Especially with a dragon to look after her in situations where a human could not." Again he hunches down in front of the now disconsolate, all right /seemingly/ disconsolate, young tinker. "Well, running back in the night's not really an option I'd take. But go back on the morrow and sort things out. No point in waiting another day, it might be one day less in your living together." He thinks for a moment and then shrugs, "As for our people ... don't get me wrong but do you really think they're gonna miss you that awfully? Sure, you are a useful member of our family but not everybody here thinks as I do. No, Lethan, your place in life may lie in that circle of spires and the least you can do is to make certain it is ... or isn't. Who knows? Maybe there's even a way to combine those two poles?"

Lethan shrugs, "I few perhaps, but so was Daola. And there's thread fall tomorrow, no one'll be traveling tomorrow." He sighs, knowing his cousin's right. Not that he is all that willing to admit it yet again tonight. "And I make sure to not travel with those trains. If I haven't proved myself yet, I'm not going to manage it. It's their loss anyway, my acts pull in the marks like no other. But still....Dragons die...riders get scored....and I can't take care of her."

Resting his elbows on his thighs, Gervaise starts twiddling his thumbs, "Well, than the day after Fall, all right?" He flashes Leth an inquiring look. Will that man never get rid of those morbid thoughts? "Hey, didn't you say she's a dragonhealer? Hm, what other rank does she have? Wingrider?"

Lethan says, "Wingleader.....she's an important woman....."

Gervaise whistles, "Now, that is impressing." He grins but groans faintly as he stands and settles on his stool again, "Wingleader /and/ dragonhealer. Leth, don't you think she can take care of herself? She wouldn't have made either, if she couldn't, right? So, for Faranth's sake, stop driving yourself crazy. I'm sure in couple of days you'll see her all safe and well at the High Reaches." Well, he doesn't mention that this rider he has never met might not welcome Leth with open arms.

Lethan doesn't have to. "And what if it's too late? What if she doesn't want me back? What then?"

Ger grabs the klah pot for a last refill of Lethan's and his own mug. He downs half of it before he answers the question, "That's a risk you'll have to take? After all, it was your decision to leave?" He cradles the mug, leaning forward and stares into the fire for some time. When he speaks again his voice though is soft, soothing, "But from what you told me about her I'd say she suffers as much right now as you do though for different reasons probably. Do you think she's worth taking the risk, Lethan?"

Lethan thinking a moment himself. "She's worth dying for....."

Gervaise almost drops the mug at those words and after a moment he nods, "It does hit one like a rock becoming aware of how much one cares, no?" He frowns, his eyes fixed on the ground and he tries hard to push back those haunting memories.

Lethan sighs unhappily. He didn't want this. He didn't ask for this. How could he let it happen again? Did he not swear to live the rest of his life mateless? Kilipo stretches and croooooooon's, hungry, itchy and not understanding her blindman's mixed emotions.

Leth's sigh brings Gervaise's head around, his eyes suspiciously moist and reddened, "So lets hope this won't be necessary." The chuckle he gives is a little rough, "Just don't forget to invite me to your first son's naming." He sets the empty mug down and raises to his feet, joints cracking as he stretches thoroughly. "You know what? I might go with you, if you don't mind. Looks like the High Reaches riders are a lot different from the ones I've known." Putting the stool back into its place he yawns, "But I need some sleep now. Try to get some yourself, you look like you could do with a lot of sleep."

..... to be continued :)
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